Introducing

Detach & Thrive

A guided program for disentangling attached emotions, enabling you to heal while lovingly Standing for your marriage without risking emotional stability.
Detach Detach & Thrive will help you go from feeling powerless and emotional to embracing inner peace and emotional strength while preserving your love for your spouse by detaching yourself from their actions and emotions.

Before I tell you about this program, let’s talk about who this is really for…

When you got married you had dreams of starting a life together, creating and fulfilling your dreams and of growing old together. You were in-love. And that lasted. It was good, maybe even great and amazing. You’re not in-love with the MLC Monster. Heck, you’re not even in like with that Monster. But your spouse—the core person who you know is somewhere stuck in there—you love that person. You miss them and you believe in them. You’re in it for the kids, you don’t want them to grow up in a broken family and you’re in it because you still love your spouse and you want to heal your family. But you need help.

Maybe you're...

  • a committed Stander who is determined to Stand--perhaps on religious grounds.
  • not sure what you want. Well, sure you'd love to have a great marriage again, but is that even possible? Your MLCer seems so certain about leaving and so crazy for their new soul mate, maybe they just fell out of love with you.
  • Standing for now. You just want to heal and be there for your kids and show them how to be strong and that you don't give up on family. You don't want to make a decision to end your marriage yet, but you know you may do that in the future.
  • so angry! That @#$% has ruined your life and they just won't stop. What an immature #$%^*! But you are having trouble moving past your anger. Underneath it you're more hurt than anything and you can't stop crying. Why isn't it easy to just hate without also having those lingering feelings of love?

Whether your...

  • goal is just to protect your children from the chaos and drama, but that’s just leading to arguing and you get sucked in and allow your MLCer to escalate. Your MLCer is blaming you for everything and you’re on the defensive.
  • MLCer is having an affair with his soul mate and wants a divorce. He stops by to see you all the time, texts you about the most random things and keeps trying to get you into bed. The back-and-forth confusion is driving you nuts!
  • MLCer wants a divorce, but refuses to leave. Her hatred for you and anger is boiling over and she seems hell-bent on destroying you. This change in her seemed to happen overnight. You just want to find some peace—for you, your kids, your family, but you’re in shock.
  • MLCer left you for someone else, but reassured you that it probably won’t last and they see the two of you getting through this together eventually. Huh? You’re stuck in hope, constantly afraid you’ll mess up and ruin your chances.
  • MLCer says you were the worst wife ever. He's spent your retirement on his new girlfriend, new cars and fancy vacations. He doesn’t call or text, but you did hear that he’s engaged. You’re not even divorced!
  • MLCer's affair is over—you think. Your spouse lives at home, but shows no interest in you, or anything like being a part of the family; nope, their main hobby is avoiding you and everyone else. They’re so depressed or grumpy that it’s a relief to not deal with them.

You're in the right place and I'm going to tell you exactly how Detach & Thrive will give you the tools and motivation to heal and the permission to love yourself, focus on you and become your Best Self.

Now Imagine PEACE.
...Peace of Mind

  • You’re able to remain calm when communicating with your spouse, even when they aren’t calm.
  • Armed with an understanding of what your spouse is going through, you use anger as your shield, without letting it be your weapon and overtaking your emotions.
  • You understand that it’s one day at a time and some days are still tough, but you will get through and you won’t just survive; YOU WILL THRIVE!
  • When your spouse Monsters, you are able to detach, be firm with your boundaries and not take it personally.
  • You can now watch your spouse as an observer without being pulled into their drama either as a rescuer, victim or villain. You're sad for them, but you know and accept that you can't fix them--not your problem!

Here's What You'll Learn Inside of
Detach & Thrive

MODULE 1

Detachment

In this module you will learn the basic definition of Detachment as we apply it to relationships as well as additional concepts of Detachment.
Why is is so important to Detach?
Why is it so hard?
What are the benefits of Detaching--how will it help me?



MODULE 2

Who Are you?

Knowing who you are not only enables you accept and embrace the present, but also look forward to who you want to continue to become and what you want to do.
Often times we get lost in our relationships and identify with our roles rather than with who we are at our core. It's time to rediscover you!
This module consists of a variety of projects to help you focus on who you are and want to be.
Embrace the joy in disoering and being you!


MODULE 3

Learning to Respond Instead of React

Brain Anatomy
What's going on when we react?
Why are we reactive?

You'll learn a step-by-step plan of action for becoming responsive both in the moment and by planning ahead.


MODULE 4

CoDependence

What does it mean to be CoDependent?
No, it's not just for relationships with alcoholics! Learn how you may be CoDependent in your relationship and what to do about it.
Are you CoDepedent?
How and Why: A review of the signs and symptoms
Overcoming CoDependence.


MODULE 5

Boundaries

MLCers love to challenge boundaries! And Forward Moving Spouses like you are often afraid to set them.
Why?
Fear
Learn about the different kind of boundaries, how to set boundaries and consequences and overcome your fears.


EXTRA

Mindfulness

Because I feel Mindfulness is so important, I don't want to focus on it in an isolated module. Instead I've embedded Mindfulness lessons and projects into every module.
I've created a variety of projects to suit different learning styles and interests. Dive in and try several.



Detach & Thrive Tiers

Gold Level

8 Group Coaching Sessions

Each week you can join the group for live coaching sessions where you can listen in, ask questions and discuss your progress, challenges and wins with the group. Session will be recorded and the scheduled time will alternate each week to accommodate our global community.

Recordings of Group Sessions will be added to your course area IF there are more than 2 of you in attendance.

Bronze Level

Self-Study

If you're either not interested in Group Coaching or you're unable to attend, try the Self-Study option and save a little!

These Bonuses to Help Keep You on Track and Jumpstart Your Healing!

BONUS 1

Twice Weekly Zoom Live Q&A

Join me each week for a live Q&A session where you can have your questions answered. Each week will have two scheduled sessions at alternating times of day to accommodate our global community.
Zoom Lives are available to you even if you choose the Self-Study option!

Zoom Live recordings will be added to your course area IF there are more than 2 of you in attendance.
 BONUS 2

Two Guided Audio Meditations

I've created two downloadable guided meditations lasting about 18-20 minutes. These meditations are focused on letting-go, acceptance, choosing joy, embracing peace and accepting the process of healing you are taking on your journey to your becoming Best Self and Thriving.


Before Detach and Thrive, every conversation with my husband seemed to disintegrate into arguments filled with blame and denial; I was still full of so much anger and pain. The course allowed me to see the ways in which I was co-dependent, and the lessons about the drama triangle and boundaries now have me practicing more positive ways of interacting with him.
Corly

Forward Moving Spouse

The group coaching calls have been so helpful! I feel that I've found an amazing group of people who understand what MLC is, and we can relate to each other's experiences. So few people get this! I have actually heard a marriage counselor say that there is no such thing as a Midlife Crisis. The course is organized beautifully and comprehensively.   Kenda-Ruth provides the gift of understanding.
Claire

Forward Moving Spouse

Here's What You'll Get When You Enroll Now

5 Implementation Modules

The five modules will be delivered across the eight week course.
Some will be a week apart and other will be two weeks to give you time to implement the lessons.

5 Mindfulness Units

Mindfulness units include projects,  tips and tricks, lessons along with an introduction to Mindfulness tools and resources.

Zoom Live Q&A Sessions

This is your opportunity to ask me questions, discuss your progress and get to know your of peers. Join in or just listen.

2  Guided Audio Meditations

I have created two meditations that are focused on helping you implement the topics within the lessons.

Enroll in Detach & Thrive Today

BRONZE

Self-Study

$197 USD

Bronze

Self-Study

3 MONTHLY PAYMENTS OF

$77 USD

Gold

+ Group Coaching

$347 USD

Gold

+ Group Coaching

3 MONTHLY PAYMENTS OF

$133 USD

I want you to be 100% confident when you enroll in Detach & Thrive

I get it. You research all sort of help for your marriage and everywhere you go someone’s making promises or trying to sell you something. And here I am doing it as well. I don’t want to be another desperation impulse buy in your search for a magic pill.

I’m proud of this course and it’s my hope that you’ll appreciate it as much as I’ve loved creating it for you.

That’s why I’m offering a 30-day money-back guarantee. I can’t make you a guarantee about your marriage, but I can guarantee your satisfaction with the information I’m providing…or you may ask for your money back.

It’s as simple as that. If you’re not happy with your purchase, I’ll refund your money within 30 days of the first day of the class.

I'm Kenda-Ruth
I’m a mom of 5 active and adorable children. My babies are such sweet miracles and I am still amazed that I am so blessed to be Mamma to 5 young people. My husband's Midlife Crisis began in 2005 and back then, we didn't have children. Yup, our five kids came along after reconciliation!

I’m a writer with training in writing for children, but that can be misleading if you think I wrote cute books about a rhyming bunny. My interests are in traditional tales—myths, folk tales, fables… Before midlife crisis disrupted my life, this led me to an interest in Joseph Campbell’s work in comparative mythology, which then pointed me toward Jungian studies.

That background foundation set me up for a unique understanding of what my husband was going through during his midlife crisis. This understanding combined with my writing skills was the key to explaining midlife crisis to other Forward Moving Spouses like you.

Now don’t get me wrong, that understanding doesn’t mean I wasn’t scared, anxious and confused. I still had a Bomb Drop that felt like it came without warning and a husband who immediately began acting irrationally, impulsively and flitted between anger at me and fear of not having me. I still had to learn about detachment which I initially resisted, learn to deal with infidelity, Monster, cycling… I was there in the midlife crisis this sucks trenches!

I made an early decision to start with the last desperate solutions first--those things I'd been curious to use for other things, but they seemed to woo-woo and people might look at me funny! My focus was on Mindfulness with meditation and hypnotherapy as my main tools.

I dedicated hours and hours to study and practice each week. It was a risk that paid off. I focused on Grace, listening and understanding. My goal was to heal while also not allowing myself to become resentful and bitter--I invested a lot of focus on having an open heart. I embraced the opportunity of TIME not only to heal, but also for personal enrichment. This worked for me.

I started The Hero's Spouse in 2008 and have been coaching Forward Moving Spouses since 2010.  My mission is to help you heal without bitterness, learn to forgive and embrace and choose joy. I can't save your marriage for you, but I can help you heal which is what you need to do to have a saved marriage. I can help increase your chances to reconcile and I can help you feel thrive regardless of the outcome.

Is Detach & Thrive for you?

Detach & Thrive is Not For Everyone.

It's For You If...

It's Not For You If...

  • You want to stop being pulled into disagreements and arguments with your spouse. You want to be able to walk-away from the situations.
  • You want to stop being a puddle on the floor and feel like you again.
  • You want to Stand for your marriage, but your MLCer's mixed messages and back-and-forths are keeping you scared. You're afraid you'll you do something to ruin your chances.
  • You want to stop caring so much about saving your marriage--sure maybe you want that outcome, but you can't stop focusing on it and you're stuck living a half life.
  • You don’t care about being understanding and empathetic, you just want this midlife crisis crap to be done.
  • You just want to wallow in self-pity and do nothing to heal or look into yourself.
  • You want to focus on your MLCer and blame them for everything. Why should you be the one to change, you did nothing wrong, you're the victim, the betrayed and it's not your fault!
  • You expect this course to save your marriage.



What Detach & Thrive Won't Do

Detach & Thrive won’t change your spouse. It won’t stop their midlife crisis and it won’t save your marriage. This course is for YOU! It's about focusing on you so that you can heal. Healing gives you the best chance at thriving in your marriage if your spouse someday chooses to return and the best chance at thriving if your spouse doesn't return. But this course is about you, not your marriage. It's about healing you; marital healing can be a byproduct of your healing, but only if you heal. This isn't even a course about Midlife Crisis! Sure, we'll talk about it, but that's not the focus.
Detach & Thrive will not work for you if you don't put in the work. This course is your gift to you. You have permission to spend time on you, to heal, to love you, to embrace you and to choose joy for your life going forward.

So many say that they wish they'd found me sooner…

…because then maybe they would have detached sooner, or stopped beg-n-pleading or stopped arguing and blaming themselves or just stopped thinking that their spouse was just a jerk or b1tch…

The best time to start healing and detaching is 2 minutes after Bomb Drop; the second-best time is now.

Of course that seems like a pretty tall order, right? Who can do that! I get asked a lot about Detachment, but many Forward Moving Spouses have said that it's such a struggle and they don't like being reminded over and over how they aren't doing it; they feel like they're failing.

I don't want you to feel like a failure! Detachment is hard. It's also something that's easier to explain than it is to do. The struggle isn't in understanding the what and why, but in applying it. That's what Detach & Thrive is about, taking the idea and making it actionable while guiding you through the process.

It doesn’t matter whether you want to Stand for your marriage, you’re uncertain or you’re done and good riddance. Now is the time because life isn’t going to hit the pause button while you spin in confusion. You need to show up for life and to do that you need healing and support.

BRONZE

Self-Study

$197 USD

Bronze

Self-Study

3 MONTHLY PAYMENTS OF

$77 USD

Gold

+ Group Coaching

$347 USD

Gold

+ Group Coaching

3 MONTHLY PAYMENTS OF

$133 USD